I want to write a book.
it's not a sudden hopeless dream. I've thought about it a really long time before, but I do feel that I can do it some days ago (well it's still related to my last post)
I wanna try making a book. any book. It can be a chicken soup, a novel, a diary, a blog compilation (maybe this wont work), a love story, a schoolbook, a poem, a fiction, a junk, or anything else.
the 1st problem is that I don't really have much spare time (with my laptop). the 2nd problem is: I tend to lose my excitement. 3rd problem is: I hate no support!
so I've thought a solution (a simple one): work with someone. yeah, brilliant. time can be shared, excitement wont lose so fast, and we'll support each other! great!
now, who wants? and I'm asking YOU. seriously. really, really seriously. please. post a comment :))
Showing posts with label grievance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grievance. Show all posts
Saturday, 24 July 2010
Dare to Do a Handstand
I've realized something important in this world .
something that you need to do in order to get something. it is:
Now I try to break the first wall. I try to do a handstand. what's the point of it? don't ask. It's better that I try than someone who mock but too afraid to try. here is some review (sorry, no photos. Never think it'd work on me)
1st good work : cant get my feet up but can swing them, at least. fear of falling attacked.
2nd good work: made up my mind not to think about falling. and at last my feet touched the wall (I practiced facing my back to the wall)
3rd good work: can do a handstand 2 seconds without wall and 5 seconds with it.
wait for the best part! I'll try my best. :)
something that you need to do in order to get something. it is:
"beat your fear by facing and challenging it, a hundred failures but ends with winning is better than hiding away"that's right. I do feel that sometimes I don't get any better from time to time just because I think too shallow. I'm afraid. yeah, like "It's too dangerous" or "what's the point of doing that?". And it is me who realize the most how useless and meaningless the reasons are. I'm just too coward.
Now I try to break the first wall. I try to do a handstand. what's the point of it? don't ask. It's better that I try than someone who mock but too afraid to try. here is some review (sorry, no photos. Never think it'd work on me)
1st good work : cant get my feet up but can swing them, at least. fear of falling attacked.
2nd good work: made up my mind not to think about falling. and at last my feet touched the wall (I practiced facing my back to the wall)
3rd good work: can do a handstand 2 seconds without wall and 5 seconds with it.
wait for the best part! I'll try my best. :)
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
Story III : A Woman Who Wake Up Before Day
This is also the story from last Monday after World Cup Finale.
I decided to make it as a artistic narration, because this story meant so much to me.
please think the same as me if you please
---------------------------------------------------------
it was a dark, cold night in city of sleepers
well every night seems so
that no shine is seen except the lamp pole
that the sky is to weak to fight the light of buildings and skyscrapers
just think it as an ordinary night with nothing to have
nothing to see
nothing to feel
like the existence of torch in highway
we were driving
yeah, it was a special night that the world celebrated
you can feel the warmth, the excitements, the spirit
in that road where everybody was shouting the name of glory
with two eyes hardly believe that they were still opened, no believe
the view was dim yellow, absolute darkness in corners
I love the view of night because you can see some stars if you are lucky
and the desolation is always a prize
no screams, no horns, no smoke, no dazzling lights
everything is calm with nobody in post
driving in night sometimes boring
and I felt that
while my dad drove, I saw the view
like I said before, nothing was interesting
I almost lost myself to yawn
almost, until I saw it
I saw someone, an awaken one
but no spirit of glory
no thought of entertainments
she didn't show what other people felt that time
she didn't use high heels
she didn't use white, scrappy gawn
she only use a cap, gloves and boots, worn out yellow uniform, and Jilbab
on her hands were broomstick and dust collector
she moved very, very slow
with trembling hands she moves her broomstick
it seems like her hands and feet was too tired
in her gesture came up an image of someone who has struggled so hard in this world
struggled so hard, and so long
just to survive
no one stood beside her, no one
she was alone, sweeping the road
so slow, sign of oldness
I never thought there is someone like her
wake up so even though she is so old
with every power drops she has left, she works everyday
only sweeping? you don't know anything
she wake up when everybody sleeps
she starts her work without anybody
she alone wipe off the road, with no one helping her
she starts first, end last
everything is only for surviving!!
why is someone like her destined to severe such a suffering life?
why me? why me? she would have thought
albeit I can't see her face, I understand her life a lot
a really though one, a life that people wont want to have
I cant do anything to her, I don't have anything
everything is not my possession, it is my parents
I realize that, how foolish I am, thinking that the world's so boring
while out there someone is putting the life on just to survive
really, I'm so stupid
why am I wasting money I don't even struggle to get for fun?
why do I hate to eat something good enough?
why am I lazy to do something that is too light compared to what they do everyday?
why? why? WHY AM I SO STUPID?
then a tear came out from my eye
I can't believe it
I feel pity to it
I don't know, I really don't know what to say ...
I decided to make it as a artistic narration, because this story meant so much to me.
please think the same as me if you please
---------------------------------------------------------
it was a dark, cold night in city of sleepers
well every night seems so
that no shine is seen except the lamp pole
that the sky is to weak to fight the light of buildings and skyscrapers
just think it as an ordinary night with nothing to have
nothing to see
nothing to feel
like the existence of torch in highway
we were driving
yeah, it was a special night that the world celebrated
you can feel the warmth, the excitements, the spirit
in that road where everybody was shouting the name of glory
with two eyes hardly believe that they were still opened, no believe
the view was dim yellow, absolute darkness in corners
I love the view of night because you can see some stars if you are lucky
and the desolation is always a prize
no screams, no horns, no smoke, no dazzling lights
everything is calm with nobody in post
driving in night sometimes boring
and I felt that
while my dad drove, I saw the view
like I said before, nothing was interesting
I almost lost myself to yawn
almost, until I saw it
I saw someone, an awaken one
but no spirit of glory
no thought of entertainments
she didn't show what other people felt that time
she didn't use high heels
she didn't use white, scrappy gawn
she only use a cap, gloves and boots, worn out yellow uniform, and Jilbab
on her hands were broomstick and dust collector
she moved very, very slow
with trembling hands she moves her broomstick
it seems like her hands and feet was too tired
in her gesture came up an image of someone who has struggled so hard in this world
struggled so hard, and so long
just to survive
no one stood beside her, no one
she was alone, sweeping the road
so slow, sign of oldness
I never thought there is someone like her
wake up so even though she is so old
with every power drops she has left, she works everyday
only sweeping? you don't know anything
she wake up when everybody sleeps
she starts her work without anybody
she alone wipe off the road, with no one helping her
she starts first, end last
everything is only for surviving!!
why is someone like her destined to severe such a suffering life?
why me? why me? she would have thought
albeit I can't see her face, I understand her life a lot
a really though one, a life that people wont want to have
I cant do anything to her, I don't have anything
everything is not my possession, it is my parents
I realize that, how foolish I am, thinking that the world's so boring
while out there someone is putting the life on just to survive
really, I'm so stupid
why am I wasting money I don't even struggle to get for fun?
why do I hate to eat something good enough?
why am I lazy to do something that is too light compared to what they do everyday?
why? why? WHY AM I SO STUPID?
then a tear came out from my eye
I can't believe it
I feel pity to it
I don't know, I really don't know what to say ...
God, please give her blessings in world and heaven, I know You are The AlMighty. I know you can do anything. please, bless this prayer, Allah. Amin.
Monday, 12 July 2010
Story II : I Hope My Dream Come True (Dream in Real Meaning)
I had a strange dream, but I really love it. It makes me so happy and energetic.
What on earth the kinda dream is that?
Well if I take a corresponding word to describe it, maybe it’s gonna be Love. But not really like love.
Anxious? Well then I’ll tell the story now :)
Actually I had this dream 2 days ago, but I was so surprised that my dream repeated this morning after World Cup Finale (yeah, I know I didn’t say dreams. Bloody grammar). It’s not precisely repeated, but it’s kinda similar. Both of them made me so surprised when I woke up that I still remember it untill now.
The first dream took place on my head (of course, you retard). I don’t really understand the circumstances nor the environment in my dream, but I remember that I met my friends in junior high school (I was in Depok, not Palembang. You can see the details in Google Map. Maybe I’ll add it in “about me”). But not so high school situation, I didn’t see any of my close friends in detail. What I remember is only that there were so many people in a garden that chattered with each other while I was standing, searching for someone I didn’t even know, maybe try to find someone I knew.
So I was a bit confused that time when suddenly someone pulled my left arm. I was surprised (who wouldn’t?) but then it was even more surprising when I see the one who pull me. It was my friend, my close pal, a girl whom I loved then and now. her last name is Yaldar (this is also a secret between us okay? ;) ). She didn’t say a thing, she just keep pulling my arm and I followed her. Running along the way, she ask some things I don’t remember. Maybe some usual conversation, how’r you, you look different, say something, usual mock, or anything. I really don’t remember. After that, I forgot. Then I woke up.
It’s weird isn’t it? Yeah, I know. It was just a short dream, but the thing that makes me happy that I can meet her again even just for dream. I don’t know if this is called love or what because I ‘ve tried my best not to give something she’ll regret again, but I’m kinda happy to notice that she’s came to my dream. :)
The second dream happened in the morning. Well as I said before I watched World Cup Finale and I didn’t sleep until 4 and a half. So I waited until half to 6 because I must do Shalat ( I’m a moslem and I’m proud of it! Every sheeps should follow me. :P). Then I sleep.
In my dream, I met my friend, also a girl, who has been my classmate from 2 years ago (I shouldn’t say the name, maybe she’ll read it), one of the bests, in a place I also don’t remember. It was like a usual room, maybe a class or restaurant or ship dock. Then I saw her and talk to her (this part is a bit clouded) that I don’t remember too. Then I went away, met her again and talk again, I think it’s about book. Then I read a book, I thought ‘where is she?’, then I face the right side (she was in front of me before) and BAMM I was REALLY surprised that her face was right beside me and my cheek accidentally met her cheek. And it happened a bit long than usual (you know, when you accidentally touch someone you’ll definitely throw yourself off right?). then when I pulled myself out, she lean on the chair (or wall, anything that shaped like backlaid) and lean a bit on me. I know it was only a dream, but undoubtedly my heart beat hard and fast! I don’t know why... really that part was really weird and shocking. Then my dream faded and I woke up at 9. And those were REALLY strange.
What’s similar? First, at that time I can feel my heart speeded up. Second, I feel a bit happy when I remember them. Third, the 2 girls i’m talking about used to have some feeling to me (especially the first one, I really cant forget her). Fourth, they are really in a WEIRD condition. Unexplainable, but sweet. At some rate I wish my dream came true (hey it’s just a dream, I’m not a pervert!). Well, just hope. :)
Any comment, opinion, or advice? (or maybe prediction of the meaning. I REALLY NEED THAT!!)
Feel free to write at the comment box. :)
So just pray me luck, okay friend? Yea, thank you for reading. Hail ewe.
P.S. : I’m not a girl! I’m just a boy who has a last name EWE
What on earth the kinda dream is that?
Well if I take a corresponding word to describe it, maybe it’s gonna be Love. But not really like love.
Anxious? Well then I’ll tell the story now :)
Actually I had this dream 2 days ago, but I was so surprised that my dream repeated this morning after World Cup Finale (yeah, I know I didn’t say dreams. Bloody grammar). It’s not precisely repeated, but it’s kinda similar. Both of them made me so surprised when I woke up that I still remember it untill now.
The first dream took place on my head (of course, you retard). I don’t really understand the circumstances nor the environment in my dream, but I remember that I met my friends in junior high school (I was in Depok, not Palembang. You can see the details in Google Map. Maybe I’ll add it in “about me”). But not so high school situation, I didn’t see any of my close friends in detail. What I remember is only that there were so many people in a garden that chattered with each other while I was standing, searching for someone I didn’t even know, maybe try to find someone I knew.
So I was a bit confused that time when suddenly someone pulled my left arm. I was surprised (who wouldn’t?) but then it was even more surprising when I see the one who pull me. It was my friend, my close pal, a girl whom I loved then and now. her last name is Yaldar (this is also a secret between us okay? ;) ). She didn’t say a thing, she just keep pulling my arm and I followed her. Running along the way, she ask some things I don’t remember. Maybe some usual conversation, how’r you, you look different, say something, usual mock, or anything. I really don’t remember. After that, I forgot. Then I woke up.
It’s weird isn’t it? Yeah, I know. It was just a short dream, but the thing that makes me happy that I can meet her again even just for dream. I don’t know if this is called love or what because I ‘ve tried my best not to give something she’ll regret again, but I’m kinda happy to notice that she’s came to my dream. :)
The second dream happened in the morning. Well as I said before I watched World Cup Finale and I didn’t sleep until 4 and a half. So I waited until half to 6 because I must do Shalat ( I’m a moslem and I’m proud of it! Every sheeps should follow me. :P). Then I sleep.
In my dream, I met my friend, also a girl, who has been my classmate from 2 years ago (I shouldn’t say the name, maybe she’ll read it), one of the bests, in a place I also don’t remember. It was like a usual room, maybe a class or restaurant or ship dock. Then I saw her and talk to her (this part is a bit clouded) that I don’t remember too. Then I went away, met her again and talk again, I think it’s about book. Then I read a book, I thought ‘where is she?’, then I face the right side (she was in front of me before) and BAMM I was REALLY surprised that her face was right beside me and my cheek accidentally met her cheek. And it happened a bit long than usual (you know, when you accidentally touch someone you’ll definitely throw yourself off right?). then when I pulled myself out, she lean on the chair (or wall, anything that shaped like backlaid) and lean a bit on me. I know it was only a dream, but undoubtedly my heart beat hard and fast! I don’t know why... really that part was really weird and shocking. Then my dream faded and I woke up at 9. And those were REALLY strange.
What’s similar? First, at that time I can feel my heart speeded up. Second, I feel a bit happy when I remember them. Third, the 2 girls i’m talking about used to have some feeling to me (especially the first one, I really cant forget her). Fourth, they are really in a WEIRD condition. Unexplainable, but sweet. At some rate I wish my dream came true (hey it’s just a dream, I’m not a pervert!). Well, just hope. :)
Any comment, opinion, or advice? (or maybe prediction of the meaning. I REALLY NEED THAT!!)
Feel free to write at the comment box. :)
So just pray me luck, okay friend? Yea, thank you for reading. Hail ewe.
P.S. : I’m not a girl! I’m just a boy who has a last name EWE
Sunday, 11 July 2010
What's Wrong with Sharing!?
hello there, good to see ya :)
I'm feeling quite good today. why ? I don't know. I just feel that way. yah, you know sometimes our heart feels good without any cause. just think this as a good luck :P
well out of that chatty-matty talk.
I'm picking up a case in my house (well it's not that I have a bad condition in home) that my family, or objected to my sister and mother, don't want to share.
rude? Impolite? noo, I don't mean to mock at my beloved sister and mother.
I just hate the way she (or sometimes they) see the eligibility or the level of appropriateness of sharing.
it means she or they sometimes don't show a good way of sharing things with some people that in this case is people out of our family or our non-relatives.
In my house, there's a man staying as our worker (my dad has a shoe shop so he has some workers). let's say his name is Willy. because he isn't our family, he tends to stay silent or not get in our way (our family I mean). even just to drink, he ask permission. Oh God, I don't like that way, it's a bit too decorous and I don't like that. so that's him.
now's time to talk about my sister. She is 22 years old currently, and has finished her undergraduate study in UGM or University of Gadjah Mada. now she's working independently, selling things but still stay in our house (yeah she's single), and she did a REALLY good job in maintaining her own shop.
our family is a really busy family. Dad and Mum go to work at 8 and come back at 6, 7, 10, midnight, or even the next day sometimes. and all that happens between the time is only work and work. we are selling shoes in dozen, scores, or in a big amount simply so we need to maintain a REAL bunch of shoes. thousands of shoes. and that's what we call busy. my sister usually helps my parents (she also open her shop there so it's like hitting two flies at once). my brother and I also help my parents but not as usual as my sister because we still have a lot more to take care of (we are entering university next month. pray us luck ! ;) ). what we can take from here is that we are lack of time to do housework especially cooking. so we often call for delivery service from some fast food restaurants.
now this is the problem.
when me my brother and I in home without my parents, we often called for delivery (it's usually pizza), there was once that we ordered 3 lasagna and 1 pizza large size. that time, I ask my sister :
I: why 3? how 'bout dad and mum and willy?
she: dad and mum is going home late.
I: how bout willy?
she: well he can take the pizza.
I got a bit bad thought of that, but I didn't take that as a matter. well some minutes after that, he came back home (the workers go back home, but my parents are still going to go to our 2 restaurants, well to take a look as usual. and yes we have 2 restaurants). after coming back home, he as usual went to garage tidy up the shoes (our garage is the shoes storeroom). because I was going to eat the lasagna, I cut the lasagna into half. then I asked my sister :
I: this half is for him. whadaya think ?
she : dont give it.
I: ??? why not? he deserve to have what we eat.
she : just eat it, dont you give it to him. he can take the pizza instead and it's enough for him
WTF, i thought. what's wrong in sharing !???
and it didn't happen just once. it often happened. I think she don't have the right to say that because:
1. it's my food so it's okay for me to give it.
2. he has the right to eat what we eat in the name of human right.
3. didn't she feel some hesitation in her heart that she decided not to share ?
4. if she were him, what would she feel when she heard that?
since that time, I less respect my sister because of what she did. why? because I told her many times but she didn't hear. ck, I need to be patient. I'm so fed up.
P.S. : this is a secret between us, don't tell anybody okay? ;)
I'm feeling quite good today. why ? I don't know. I just feel that way. yah, you know sometimes our heart feels good without any cause. just think this as a good luck :P
well out of that chatty-matty talk.
I'm picking up a case in my house (well it's not that I have a bad condition in home) that my family, or objected to my sister and mother, don't want to share.
rude? Impolite? noo, I don't mean to mock at my beloved sister and mother.
I just hate the way she (or sometimes they) see the eligibility or the level of appropriateness of sharing.
it means she or they sometimes don't show a good way of sharing things with some people that in this case is people out of our family or our non-relatives.
In my house, there's a man staying as our worker (my dad has a shoe shop so he has some workers). let's say his name is Willy. because he isn't our family, he tends to stay silent or not get in our way (our family I mean). even just to drink, he ask permission. Oh God, I don't like that way, it's a bit too decorous and I don't like that. so that's him.
now's time to talk about my sister. She is 22 years old currently, and has finished her undergraduate study in UGM or University of Gadjah Mada. now she's working independently, selling things but still stay in our house (yeah she's single), and she did a REALLY good job in maintaining her own shop.
our family is a really busy family. Dad and Mum go to work at 8 and come back at 6, 7, 10, midnight, or even the next day sometimes. and all that happens between the time is only work and work. we are selling shoes in dozen, scores, or in a big amount simply so we need to maintain a REAL bunch of shoes. thousands of shoes. and that's what we call busy. my sister usually helps my parents (she also open her shop there so it's like hitting two flies at once). my brother and I also help my parents but not as usual as my sister because we still have a lot more to take care of (we are entering university next month. pray us luck ! ;) ). what we can take from here is that we are lack of time to do housework especially cooking. so we often call for delivery service from some fast food restaurants.
now this is the problem.
when me my brother and I in home without my parents, we often called for delivery (it's usually pizza), there was once that we ordered 3 lasagna and 1 pizza large size. that time, I ask my sister :
I: why 3? how 'bout dad and mum and willy?
she: dad and mum is going home late.
I: how bout willy?
she: well he can take the pizza.
I got a bit bad thought of that, but I didn't take that as a matter. well some minutes after that, he came back home (the workers go back home, but my parents are still going to go to our 2 restaurants, well to take a look as usual. and yes we have 2 restaurants). after coming back home, he as usual went to garage tidy up the shoes (our garage is the shoes storeroom). because I was going to eat the lasagna, I cut the lasagna into half. then I asked my sister :
I: this half is for him. whadaya think ?
she : dont give it.
I: ??? why not? he deserve to have what we eat.
she : just eat it, dont you give it to him. he can take the pizza instead and it's enough for him
WTF, i thought. what's wrong in sharing !???
and it didn't happen just once. it often happened. I think she don't have the right to say that because:
1. it's my food so it's okay for me to give it.
2. he has the right to eat what we eat in the name of human right.
3. didn't she feel some hesitation in her heart that she decided not to share ?
4. if she were him, what would she feel when she heard that?
since that time, I less respect my sister because of what she did. why? because I told her many times but she didn't hear. ck, I need to be patient. I'm so fed up.
P.S. : this is a secret between us, don't tell anybody okay? ;)
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